Oh, where do I begin? Well, I guess Thursday is a good place. This was the night of MY doctor's appointment. Right before this appointment, I decided to breastfeed Emma. This just happened to be one of those wonderful feedings where she was sweet and calm and fell asleep on my shoulder -- in the middle of the day! I was so happy I nodded off with her even though I knew I had to get ready for the doctor. It was a wonderful moment that I now realize was a blessing. It was almost as if God was saying, "This is my gift to you. You've done a good job. Now go take care of yourself." So I did.
My doctor's appointment was probably the first time I actually looked at my own health these past few months, and Dr. S really made me feel good. He was very positive about what kind of mom I've been so far and really encouraged me to take better care of myself. We went over a few things I've neglected since Emma's been born. Nothing serious, just a few minor "to dos," and I should be as good as new. Maybe better!
So I left the doctor feeling rejuvenated and okay with what we were planning on doing over the weekend -- completely weaning Emma.
The last feeding happened on Friday night, and it wasn't as emotional as I thought it would be. Actually, I would count that Thursday afternoon feeding as our last since it was so special. The Friday night feeding wasn't as "peaceful," which made me feel like she was just as ready as I was to move on to the next step. I did have a little bit of an icky feeling in my stomach that night, but I figure that's normal. Emma was about to thrive without me...and with the help of others. For anyone who has breastfed, that is a very hard thing to come to terms with. But it was going to happen sometime, so I figured doing it while we were out of town was the best time. Besides the fact that I would be able to eat normal food, it would also be easier on Emma. Since her surroundings would be so unfamiliar, I thought she might not notice the difference as much. I wouldn't be feeding her a bottle in the same chair as she normally gets a boob. Same thing with the night feedings. I thought this would help "ease" her into the idea so that when we returned from Geneva, she might not notice. Maybe I am justifying it all, but it made sense to me -- and it worked.
I'm still not 100 percent sure she isn't reacting to the formula, but she seems fine. In fact, she is sleeping great -- naps and at night. She was actually amazing over the weekend. I was so proud of her!!! She was extremely happy and never missed one nap. That's quite an accomplishment when 11 of us (including four kids ages 6 and under) were sharing the same living space. She adapted so well. I couldn't believe it! Again, I believe it was God's way of saying she was going to be fine and that I could chill.
And boy did I! Not only did I have pizza, pop, and lots of chocolate, I also got to work out and pamper myself with a facial. It was so much fun. And I didn't have to worry about Emma, who was busy being loved by her cousins, aunts, and grandparents. At one point, I came back from the gym and wanted to hold her (I missed her like crazy!), and she wanted to stay by her Auntie Lexi. This was huge -- she NEVER turns me down! But, heck, the girl was having fun. Who was I to interfere? :o)
As you all know, the title of this blog is Heaven Sent, and I truly believe with all of my heart (and mind!) that Emma was a gift directly from God. She is the closest to heaven I will ever experience in this lifetime. BUT I also feel like this weekend was a gift sent directly from God as well. A worldly gift, yes, but it renewed my spirit like only He could. His timing is amazing. This could have been a very stressful weekend as far as Emma's sleeping schedule and her weaning, but instead it went extremely smooth and provided more relaxation than I have felt in a LONG time. I know this was not coincidence. He graciously gave me peace about what I was doing.
For those of you who may feel I read too much into things, I honestly don't care what you think. I know what I feel, and I know my Father in Heaven is taking care of me. That is the blessing of being one of his children. He unconditionally loves us and gives us blessings we don't deserve. Even when we (I) try to control everything and question His plan, he still gives us blessings simply because He loves us. Wouldn't we do the same for our own children?
Okay, enough of my deep thoughts. Back to the fun stuff. Miss Emma had a great time this weekend. Here are some photos of her first swimming experience. Thanks to Grandma Bonnema for her adorable swimsuit!
Jackson and Emma have fun splashing around
"It's a little cold, Mom"
"I love you, Daddy"
"And I'm spent..."
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
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3 comments:
"For those of you who may feel I read too much into things, I honestly don't care what you think." That's the best thing I've heard in a long time!
That's really great Les, it sounds like this transition couldn't have been better for either of you. This weekend does sound like it was exactly what you needed. Glad to hear you doing so well!
Love the pictures, especially the one where Emma and Jeff are looking at each other! I want to take Julian into a pool so badly I think he'd love it w/the way he splashes in the bath. I've been meaning to look into water babies. Off to do that now!
Seriously, I'm so happy to hear you in such a good place...and a place where they serve pizza ;)
Lisa -
So glad things are going well and that you are feeling peaceful about the weaning stuff - its best for all, obviously.
Loved the photos of Jeff and Emma. He certainly adores her! Again - so glad you're doing this blog and allowing me to read:)
I ran across your blog after doing a google search for reflux. My daugther is 5 months old and we're struggling a bit (not sleeping, fussiness, runny nose, mostly silent reflux, etc.). Your posts totally warmed my heart and touched my soul. I feel God's love and purpose too, but reading your peace amidst your struggles reminded me that I'm not alone in this as I have my Christian brothers and sisters and my heavenly father to help me through. thank you.
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