Sunday, August 20, 2006

A Little Irritated

Okay, so yes I will post pictures of Emma in her dress and all the party details, but first I need to get something off my chest.

The other day I was reading a fairly popular blog. It's a blog I probably shouldn't read because it's pretty negative, but unfortunately, it's become a guilty pleasure. Anyway, the author -- who I do have to say is a pretty good writer and fairly funny most of the time -- decided to briefly poke fun at mommy blogs and their "love letters" to their children. Now, yes, I admit that initially the author's comment made me giggle since I am obviously guilty of this, especially within that very week.

But then the insecurity set in, and I found myself clicking over to my blog and re-reading my letter to Emma. And for a split second I was embarrassed of what I had written. It was cheesy. It was mushy. It wasn't all funny and clever. It was, well, a love letter.

But as soon as those thoughts came, they left. Yes, IT.IS.A.LOVE.LETTER. To my child. What the heck is it supposed to say? Oh, am I supposed to drop an F bomb in there to make it funny, or make Emma feel bad about all the "trouble" she's caused just so that I am "keeping it real"? Give me a break.

For those of you who "blog," you know what I am talking about. There are those blogs out there -- and unfortunately, these are the ones with 100+ comments -- that act like you have to whine about every little thing and rip on every single person in order to offer something valuable.

Well guess what: I have a feeling THIS blog is going to mean a heck of a lot more to Emma than some child who searches the Internet some day to find out that his or her mom/dad did nothing but complain about how horrible their life was -- before AND after children. No thank you. Sure we all need to vent, but I choose to leave most of my ugly thoughts between me and God. My child's mind is going to be filled with enough negative garbage, profanity and disappointment in the years to come. I am NOT going to contribute to that.

At the end of the day, I want Emma to learn that there is still room for good old-fashioned, mushy love in this world. Because that, my friends, is what gets you through those days when all you want to do is whine.


Adventures In Babywearing said...

Oh, I know what you're talking about, and will never be one to complain or purposely be negative about my kids in my blog. Mainly because we don't even talk like that to begin with. Why speak it into existence? If you talk about how horrible your kids are, then that is what they will be! And this is sad. Sometimes those bloggers are blogging solely for the popularity contest. Mommy bloggers that I enjoy are ones that stand up for other mommies, and the kiddies, too.

JD said...

Don't ever be embarassed of what you have written for your baby. You are a fantastic writer and it will mean much to her when she can finally read and understand those emotions. Be true to yourself:)

I agree with AIB that we don't talk like that around the house, so why would I do that on my blog. More importantly, I have a responsibility to build my children and my husband up - not to tear them down. This doesn't mean that I talk sweetly to their faces and then complain about them for the WWW to read. I'm proud of my family, I'm proud of my position in our family, I'm proud of the love that we share and I don't have a clue why people would want to portray anything different, just for the sake of receiving more comments and readers. I want the WWW to know how proud of my husband and girls I am - and how much I love them. One of my biggest goals in parenting is that my girls never doubt that I love them - and I'm not sure that that wouldn't be the case if I wrote stuff like you described. I just don't get it.

There is something to "being real" - not acting like life with little children is the easiest job in the world - however, you can be real and not be nasty or negative about it. I think a better term is "authentic".

I think you've been authentic and candid and I appreciate you and the struggles that you've let us in on. Don't change what you're doing (unless it means you're blogging more often:). I love you!

Amanda said...

AMEN! I think what you wrote to Emma is precious, and something she will treasure someday. It's hard for 'the world' to understand 'us' sometimes, but don't feel that you need to change to make them happy. (But I agree with Jana...more updates!!!)

Mama C-ta said...

I do a whole lot of both, love and negative. I was never good at sugar coating - not saying that is what you are doing some people really do only see the good! I'm me and want Cricket to know that, F bombs and all. I keep it real for me and unfortunately other people come across it and may feel the same about mine as you do about the blog in which you are speaking. If you treat your kids right they will (hopefully) understand what you mean by what was written and (hopefully) see the humor or appreciate the honesty.

But I know you and know that isn't what you are about and it would be silly for you to do that for the sake of making something interesting. You are keeping it real, real for you.

BTW which blog was this, I hardly get to read them anymore. Hope it's not mine (but I know that isn't the case b/c I get like 2 comments!) But the whole blog bashing thing is part of the reason why I want to drop out of this scene, I'm a little too insecure for it all!

Heaven Sent said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Heaven Sent said...

Thanks everyone for your support. It was really my own insecurities that led me to write this entry. I was so mad at myself for second-guessing something that came from my heart -- just because of someone else. And that's not this blogger's problem by the way, it's mine.

I wrote this entry to remind myself not to fall into a trap of making this blog about anything other than Emma. Like JD and Mama C-ta said perfectly, keeping it real for me and my family.

one hot momma said...

you go girl! stay true to who you are! I absolutely love reading your posts about Emma and how much you love her! Thank God for momma's like you!

The Mom said...

Well said!

KristieSue said...

AMEN! I love Mommy blogs and I found yours and glad I read this post. Everyone is so negative these days that they snub you for saying anything positive. Blah that's phooey.