Almost There

Okay, real quick update...

So far, it's looking like Miss Brooklyn is going to hold on until this Tuesday. Earlier this week, I was having some contractions, but nothing really since Tuesday night. I think those were more of a result of our fun-filled (but hot!) day at the zoo on Monday.

I also had my last loooong day of doctor's appointments on Tuesday (non-stress test, ultrasound, and OB visit). I didn't realize how much I wanted those to be over until I was sitting in the ultrasound room. Jeff was with me, and we got the latest numbers on Brooklyn ventricles (brain fluid estimations), and I lost it. The numbers were much higher than I expected -- 33 mm and 27 mm -- and before I knew it, the tears were streaming and I could not get them to stop. It was at the moment that I knew I wanted this to be over.

It's not that I wanted the pregnancy to be over; I was just done with all the stinking appointments. Done with the long days, the drama, the worry, the head games I had to play with myself every time...building myself up for what I might see, trying to stay strong for what I did see, then trying to convince myself that what I actually saw meant nothing. Totally and emotionally exhausting. Let's just say I would rather not see an ultrasound machine for a very, very long time.

The good news is that my OB wasn't concerned with the ventricle size at all and said it's all proportionate to her growth. (So, yes, I totally overreacted.) And speaking of growth, our "little peanut" is now up to the 56th percentile in weight!!! That was such awesome news -- we really want her to be as strong as possible if she does in fact require surgery.

She is still breech, but this girl is trying her hardest to move. Not sure she'll make it there, but I'm still praying that she will. The c-section is all set up, but in all honestly, my heart's desire is to deliver her naturally. Of course, I have no control, so whatever is meant to be will be.

I truly, truly believe that. I am at total peace right now with whatever happens. Now, I admit that last week was a totally different story. I wasn't ready. But after having some contractions and then the emotional release of Tuesday's appointment, my heart faced it all head on, and I honestly feel ready for anything. If she comes this weekend, great! We get to meet her sooner. If she waits until Tuesday, fine. Then all of our "plans" are in place, and we know what to expect (kinda).

The last few days have been wonderful as I get everything "in order" and do some last-minute fun things with the girls. I've even been able to have some really good talks with Emma.

Overall, I am totally motivated and feeling really good -- both physically and emotionally. Our plans are in place in terms of babysitters and emotional support for Brooklyn's birth and the days following, and I am so very excited to meet our little angel.

We'll keep you all posted, and as always, thank you so much for your prayers. She's almost here!