Sunday, October 29, 2006

A Lesson on Worry

As I have written in the past, I am a worry wart. Actually, it is probably more accurate to say I am control freak, which means I worry about things I have no control over. As a Christian, I know I'm not really in control of anything, but of course, that concept is a little easier said than done.

Enter Emma. Since the day I saw those two pink lines, I reached a whole new level of worry. Her sleep, her allergies, her reflux, colds -- and that was just the beginning. Now we have cuts and scrapes and who knows what else in our future!

So it is my nature to worry. Yes, it is in all of our natures to worry (especially as parents), but I happen to know this is one of those things God really wants me to work on. And, of course, is His total awesomeness, He gave me exactly what I needed today.

For the last few weeks, it has been the debate around here whether Emma was getting tooth #7 or cold #532. The molar that popped through last week seem to confirm the tooth theory, but the continuation of the runny nose, night wakings and ear pulling made me a little nervous another ear infection was around the corner.

The good news is that Emma always teethes in twos, so of course it has to be the other molar. No need to call the doctor. No need to worry. So what if she's always exhausted because she is waking up ALL.THE.TIME? And so what if she's eating goofy and hanging on my leg every second? It is her teeth. Yes, it has to be her teeth. (Breathe, breathe.)

Then this morning she wakes up with a bad cough and a REALLY runny nose. So cold #532 is officially here, and tooth #8 is not. I begin to wonder, are kids always sick or is it just mine? Between her tummy and her colds, I swear this kid is never 100 percent, which makes me so sad for her. And it makes me worry something else is really going on. Needless to say, emotionally, I was not in top form this morning.

So Jeff offers to stay home from church so I can go. I end up taking him up on his offer, although with huge amounts of guilt that I am leaving my sick child behind. But take one guess what today's sermon is called... "Wrestling with Worry." Of course it is!

Most of the message revolved around Matthew 6:25-34, which is always a great reminder that we are to give up our worries to God. Simply put, to worry is to distrust Him. Yes, we are human and will worry anyway, but we have to believe that He is in control and remind ourselves that if He has the power to create us, He certainly has the power to take care of the little worries in our lives.

But the real nugget I took away from today's sermon was a sentence containing two simple words that now mean more to me than they ever have: I Am.

You see, God is the "I Am," which means He is alive -- here and now. He isn't the "I Was" or "I Will Be." He is the "I Am."

In the same way, we are to live in today, because we truly don't know what tomorrow brings. And while the tragedies and sins of yesterday can't be forgotten, we also can't allow them to interfere with our joy today. I have a child I love more than anything right now, and in the end, nothing else matters. Not what happened yesterday, or what could happen tomorrow.

What a blessing those two simple words are -- and what a comfort! Knowing He is the "I Am" means I am loved and taken care of -- and more importantly, so is Emma. But without that knowledge, I am, well, just a worry wart...


Wendy said...

I know exactly what you mean about teething and cold #532, it's been the same here lately.

I am glad you were able to go yesterday and it was obviously exactly what you needed to hear.
Thanks for the great reminder.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

And sometimes it's just that simple. I Am.

Beautiful, heartfelt post!

JLD said...

And don't forget: I AM NOT.

Amanda said...

I am becoming more and more aware these days of how God gives us JUST what we need, JUST when we need it. Isn't He good???

Mama C-ta said...

You even got through to me and my thick skull on this one ;)

Mama C-ta said...

And BTW I'm sorry you guys are (were?) having a rough time. I hope Emma is on the up and up and don't forget I'm here for any venting (and raving!) sessions.

Will we be seeing any costume pics of Emma or did you not make it out tonight?

Heidi said...

Beautiful post, and I can totally relate to this.