Six

This is a over a month late, but I could tell a certain 7 year old was feeling "unspecial" when I caught her watching Brooklyn's 1-year slideshow yesterday morning. And now, of course, Kendall is counting the days until her birthday so she can get one, too. I guess since I have totally dropped the ball on their baby books, this is the least I can do! (Even if it is totally amateur... :)

I love you, Emma Kay. Your passion will always inspire me.

Prayer Request: Brooklyn's Surgery on Wednesday

 Once again, we humbly come to you and ask you to say a prayer for Miss Brooklyn, who will be having surgery on Wednesday. Thankfully, it is only foot surgery, but they are estimating it will take about 4 hours and, of course, she will have to be put under.

She will be having surgery on both feet, although they will most likely do more work on her left foot. The name of the procedure our surgeon will be performing is Posteromedial Lateral Release, which basically means she will be making Brooklyn's feet flat and straight. Unfortunately, the Achilles tendon surgery Brooklyn had last year to flatten her feet wasn't successful, and her clubbed feet that were corrected with the casts have started to turn in. This surgery is necessary to correct both of those things so that she will be able to properly stand and bear weight on her legs.

We also ask that you pray for Brooklyn's recovery process, as she will have pins in her feet, as well as splints and casts on her legs for 7 weeks. We aren't quite sure how this will go over with our little rock star, but we are hopeful that she will be her usual rock star self and "make it work"!

The good news is that once she is fully recovered, we will be measuring her for a stander, which is very exciting! Because she lacks feeling in her lower legs (below the knee), she doesn't quite understand that she can use them to stand. But once her feet have been corrected, we will be able to teach her body what to do by using this device. What a joy it will be to see her standing on her own two feet some day...we can hardly wait! I have a feeling she is going to love being off the ground and closer to her two big sisters!

For now, Miss Brooklyn more than enjoys sitting up and playing independently. And as of last month, she can even push herself up from the ground all by herself. We are so proud of her! She isn't attempting to crawl since her knees don't quite want to bend the full 90 degrees, but she is starting to get curious about moving around. We are working on her core strength to help her accomplish that, but it is more likely she will "scooch" or army crawl instead of a 4-point-crawl. As with all things Spina Bifida, we will just have to wait and see!

As we prepare for Wednesday, we ask you to pray for any (or all!) of the following:

1. God's protection during the surgery and as she comes out of the anesthesia
2. A successful and peaceful recovery process -- no complications
3. God's miraculous intervention to restore all nerve and muscle functions (We have to ask! :)
4. Peace for us during the surgery
5. Peace for Emma and Kendall as they spend time away from us and as they pray for their little sister

Thank you all for your continued love, support, and prayer. We cannot express how much every one of your prayers means to our family. Sending our daughter into her fourth surgery (eek!) is definitely not an easy task, but we feel God's love and power through all of you.

We will keep you all updated on how everything goes on Wednesday. Thank you so very much, and may God bless you all!

Photo credit: Erin Olson Photography

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:7

A Year of Faith, Joy and Hope

Happy Birthday, Brooklyn! We love you more than words could ever describe.

A Picture of Faith

She has prayed for her. This I know. This I feel.

Brooklyn must have known it too. Their connection was real. I saw it. They felt it.

So much Faith in that creased face, in those innocent eyes.

A beautiful union of wisdom, hope.

Devotion holding tight to complete Trust. Trust grounded by dedicated Devotion.

Five generations coming full circle to illustrate all He has done. All He can do.

All I hope to be.

Foto Friday: Wonderfully Made

She hates laying on her back and usually screams when you change her diaper.




She loves sleeping on her side and gives me a nice 7-hour stretch at night.

She eats like a champ, but spits up. A LOT.

 She is fussy for a good hour after she eats, but as long as you keep her upright, she chills out.





She loves noise and sleeps right through the chaos of two very busy sisters.

She smiles and coos, but usually only when looking at ceiling fans and right before she spits up.



She wakes up VERY hungry and has the most adorable complaining cry. (I admit, I often wait to feed her for a few seconds just so I can hear it. ;)

She loves her sisters and tolerates all of their rough lovin' very well.

She actually enjoys tummy time and has been known to take a little snooze while on her stomach (gasp!)...



She likes it when you rub her head, hold her hands, and sing softly in her ear.

She has the softest, warmest cheeks that are beyond kissable.



She is Brooklyn. And we love her just the way God made her.




I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

Uplifted, A Haiku

What an amazing week. There is a spiritual war going on around here, and after tonight, God is totally winning. So much to share -- about Brooklyn, about prayer -- but I don't quite have the time or energy tonight, but I will. I have to. I promise.

For now, I leave you with a haiku I wrote earlier this week thanks to the encouragement of my blogging friend Stephanie. It sums up what I experienced -- not once, but TWICE! -- in the last 5 days. Absolutely amazing.
 
Hands on my belly
Silence. (Tears) Warmth. Peace. Power!
Strength for tomorrow

To The Man in Our Lives

Happy Father's Day to a man who would literally do anything for his girls, whether that means putting on some Mickey ears, making holiday crafts, whipping up pancakes every Saturday morning, or reading Fancy Nancy fifteen times in the course of a week.

A man who is more than a father, but a Daddy that will kiss the owies and get right in there and be a part of their little lives.

A man who I completely trust with the precious hearts of our girls.

I love you, sweetie, for the man that you are to our children and to me. We are so very blessed to have you as the only man in our lives!

Foto Friday: F is for Fun

So, I realize this blog has gotten a little heavy lately. I write when I feel led, and today I feel led to lighten up a little and share some of our family fun.

Truth be told, I was born a scheduler and rule-follower -- especially when it comes to our girls -- which means that sometimes I have to be reminded to chill out and just live. They are only little once, and the best part about being a Mommy is that you get the chance to be little all over again.

One thing that I have definitely learned over these few months is that life is truly what you make it. You can either jump in and laugh, or sit and miss out on all the fun. So I have vowed to change things around this house -- making it more playful and more joyful and full of l.i.f.e.

That started with a promise to make this summer as fun as possible...balancing planned trips with last-minute adventures and all-out silliness (and getting some work done in between). Although my hormones are trying REALLY hard to work against us, I think we've gotten off to a great start!

(Cue lots and lots of photos... Enjoy!)



Impromptu trips to random parks we drive past


Home-made popsicles on the deck


Touch a Truck day!






Home-made pizza WITH lots of gooey (dairy-free) cheese


Making sure we are dressed appropriately for every occasion ;)




Lots of fun with glitter (which Jeff just loves...)




Tickle fights with Daddy at bedtime


And last but not least...getting creative when Mommy is in bed sick all day (and Daddy is on the clock ;)

A Piece of Me

I had my first dream last night. Well, my first dream that wasn’t really a dream at all, but more like a glimpse into the future.

I was in the hospital awaiting surgery. My Dad was there and so was my friend Katie. There was a mother and a daughter in the waiting room as well, both of who seemed to have symptoms of Spina Bifida. The daughter was joking with the mom that she didn’t have any real problems, but the mom was arguing that she did. They were smiling and laughing together. And next in line for the surgery.

I was trying to be brave, and I couldn’t see my Dad for a second. And then I caved in and hugged my friend Katie. I was crying. I told her I was scared. I had never been operated on before. She said, “I know,” and cried with me.

Then it was time to sign my name in at the surgery check-in. But instead of my name, I was supposed to write my relation to those in the waiting room. I wrote, “daughter, Mommy, friend.”

Only neither Emma nor Kendall was there.

And that’s when I realized I wasn’t the one really going into surgery. It was Brooklyn. But I couldn’t see her, which actually makes sense. She isn’t here yet.

I was woken up from my dream to the sound of Kendall crying, and I as walked to her room, I realized just how real my dream was.

Every time Brooklyn goes into surgery, it will feel like I am the one going in. A piece of me getting wheeled into that room. I can’t phantom that feeling yet, but I know I will have to feel it many, many times in the years ahead. I am scared.

But I do know I will have my family there and my friends. They will hug me and cry with me. They will be—and have been—there to support me every step of the way.

And my daughter will have to remind me every time that she is the one going into surgery.

But I will argue that is not the case at all.

And Away We Go...

Appointments.

That is basically where we are at right now. Lots and lots of appointments. I was putting them off, I admit, because that meant time away from the girls and really, I wasn't ready for that yet. I know that will be a big part of our life from here on out...but it is honestly a part I dread.

Funny how it's the little things that can get to you. I've always been that way though. I can handle the "big things" pretty easily. Maybe because I know only God can handle them, but it's the little things that I struggle with. It's the day-to-day stuff that makes me feel like I am lacking and that I am somehow failing. And letting the girls down is now a looming fear that creeps in way too often.

Many of you know that Emma was with us the night that we found out about Brookyln's Spina Bifida. Not the best situation, but in many ways, it helped relieve us of the decision as to what to tell her, when to tell her, etc. She knew from the start, whether we liked it or not.

Well, on the way home that night, I was trying my hardest to figure out the right thing to say to my little girl as I was still trying to comprehend it all myself. I told her that Brooklyn might have "sick legs." I told her that even though she might not be able to do all the things we can do, she is going to be a perfect addition to our family. She will teach us about God in ways we never imagined. She will be special, and she will be a very important part of our family.

After my pep talk, I was feeling pretty good about my words and the fact that I was doing a good job of hiding my breaking heart, when from the backseat came the smallest little voice...

"Mom, does that mean Brooklyn will be more important than me and Kendall?"

Silence.

My worst fear...spoken by a 4 year old that had more wisdom and understanding than I ever imagined. My worst fear...before I even knew it myself.

As I desperately tried to backtrack -- telling Emma we are all made special by God in different ways and all play an important part in our family -- I felt a horrible sense of failure.

Even as I become more informed about all of the challenges we have ahead of us, it is still my biggest fear: Taking care of all three of my children in a way that makes them all feel loved, special, and important. Making Emma and Kendall feel loved even though Brooklyn will be getting lots of attention. Making Brooklyn feel loved even though she can't do all the things Emma and Kendall will be able to do. Making them understand that they will each make me proud in different ways. And that I love them all equally.

I know this is a struggle every mother with more than one child has. But somehow it has now been magnified...by like 100. Maybe it shouldn't be and maybe I'm the one magnifying it, but I would be lying if I didn't say it literally makes my heart ache.

The comfort I have is believing that God will also use this experience to make Emma and Kendall the people He intended them to be... compassionate, caring, accepting. We want more for our children, and I think this does give my girls an opportunity to experience life in a more challenging, but more fulfilling way. I just pray God will help me guide them in this direction. That the stress won't take over and that the moments we are together make up for the time lost. For the confusion.

So the decisions are being made. Assuming all goes as planned at all of our appointments next week, we will deliver at Northwestern, and Brooklyn will get her surgeries at Children's Memorial. I will have to have a C-section, which means there will be a few days when I sit in a hospital room by myself while Jeff waits in another hospital for our baby to come out of surgery and my other babies are at home being cared for by someone other than their Mommy.

These are days I have to choose not to think about. Because the thought of those days tear. me. to. p i e c e s.

I know this will not be easy. But God never said it would be easy.

As my bible study lesson so perfectly revealed to me this week...

"For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake..." (Phillipians 1:29)

If my God can die on a cross for me so that I can spend a perfect eternity with my children, the least I can do is use our short period of worldly suffering for His Glory.

And I pray with all of my heart that all three of my girls learn to do the same.

Foto Friday: Round 3

Can you see past all that drool?!! Baby B #3 is due August 2nd.

Details coming soon...lots of surprises and a little drama..just the way we like it around here. :)

Foto Friday: Cousins!

If there is one thing Emma is most passionate about, it is her cousins. She L.O.V.E.S her cousins. If she could spend every waking moment with them, she would. Kendall is also pretty smitten. Thankfully, my family is so awesome that my girls get to see them at least once a week, if not more. We are so blessed, and I hope they stay close as they get older.

Here are just a few pictures of all of my favorite kiddos!

Foto Friday: Happy Birthday Daddy!

His eyes and his hugs remind us every day that he loves us and that we are safe.







His smile assures us he will do absolutely anything for his girls.






And his heart, well, it is soft and smooshy and leaves all three of us totally in love.









Thanks for taking care of us, babe. We are so blessed to have you as the #1 man in our lives. Happy Birthday!